If you live in South Africa, you know how easy it is to become negative. All you have to do is to wait for the power to go out, checking the Rand Dollar exchange rate or, even faster: Listen to a news bulletin.
What does this say about us as a nation? Even worse: Is there still hope for this beautiful country?
But enough said. The whole idea behind this post is to be positive and, by being positive, to have a better life.
But how do you become more positive??
I’m not going to sugarcoat it. It’s hard and extremely difficult. Just like any top performing athlete, you need to constantly work at it. The one light at the end of the tunnel is that, like anything in life, the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
This is how I did it. Try it for yourself and, if necessary, change the recipe until it works for you.
Less is more
I used to read the news and listen to the news a lot, but I quickly realised that it makes me negative. Then I started listening to the news less. I also listen to shorter news bulletins like just the headlines and if there is a story that interests me, then I will follow up on it. I removed the Google News app from my phone, and I also deleted my news list in Twitter.
Remember the heading of this section? I’m not saying stop reading the news at all; I’m saying less news brings more chances to be positive. Don’t stop reading the news at all; you shouldn’t become an Ostridge by sticking your head in the sand and pretend nothing is wrong. Be aware of world happenings, because they can affect you directly or indirectly.
Don’t Worry ~ be Happy
This is entirely your choice. My mother-in-law constantly worries about things: What if this? Or what will happen if that? We have often asked her to stop worrying about things that she cannot change or control. It really is as simple as this: You can’t change it, so why worry about it.
I mean, I can’t always solve my own problems; why the fuck should I expect it of myself to solve other problems like the war between Russia and the Ukraine or the fact that the rand is currently at R18.41 to the US Dollar. I know about these things, but I deliberately choose not to care.
Yes, I sound like a total dick, but I’m getting to a point where it all becomes too much. We are bombarded (bad pun intended) by social media posts telling us to care for this or care for that or to donate our money to this or that cause or to buy tickets for a virtual concert that will benefit the Ukraine… It’s just too much and I chose to care less.
Honestly, I don’t care if Putin is crazy or if Zelenskyy is seen as the next best thing since sliced bread…
I chose to worry less and be happier. I am beginning to realise that I can’t solve the world’s problems all by myself. I am not superman. I must learn to know my own limits and learn to love myself — not the myself that I would like the world to see, but the myself that I am — boots and all.
Choose what you talk about
What is the first thing people do after they greeted you in South Africa? They start in on “the terrible state of the country” or “how expensive life is getting” or “the war in the Ukraine” or perhaps how your Neighbour’s house was burgled last week.
Smile politely and start working out a plan to run like hell, because a negative person will try to drag you down to his level — not to be alone. Don’t do what I did once: I told a lady straight that I don’t care, because I can’t change it. There was this shocked silence and then she told me that I am a very rude person. I told her again that I don’t care, and she walked away. Needless to say: We haven’t spoken since, and I can’t say whose more relieved about it.
The attitude of gratitude
This one is easy: Sit down and start making a list of things to be grateful for like your food, your job, your health, your hearing, your sight, your house, your partner and the fact that you are still alive. No matter how you twist and turn, you can’t turn this list into anything negative.
Soon you will realise how much you have to be grateful for and, if you are really smart, you will realise that you are complaining with the white bread under the arm.
Staying positive takes tremendous effort, time and energy. It’s one of the hardest things to do, but it’s a choice. Only you can make that choice and, yes, it is easier to be positive if the outside influences are positive as well. So, surround yourself with positive things and positive people. Constantly strive for positivity and as you go on, it will become easier and easier. But remember: Nobody can run this rase for you; only you can do it and the fact that you are reading this right now tells me that you are willing to give it a go.
Last but not least: Believe in yourself. You can do it, because I am busy doing it.